Friday, January 16, 2009

Don't judge me...


Professional model cum fashion editor for the magazine, Kim, was just here. In addition to being gorgeous, she is also an extremely nice person, so it is always fun when she stops by to bestow some of her niceness and glamour on us. She was wearing an enormous fur coat, and although I have never in my life had any interest in anything made of fur, she looked so classy and Russian and warm that I had a real Gollum moment ("we wants it, the precious! gollum, gollum...") I think that this sudden interest in pelts probably had a lot to do with the fact that it "feels like 13 degrees" in Chattanooga, according to weather.com, so there you have it. One more reason why winter needs to move on; it encourages poaching.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

This day was bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s

This post is where I'm hiding while the calendar events I'm supposed to be writing look for me. They were making me batty so I had to have a break from them.

So, yesterday was the craziest day ever.



It was recently (read: two days ago) decided that I should be the one arranging and coordinating all the photo shoots for this issue, and those shoots had to happen this week. Now, I am not good with logistics. I mean, logic games are the reason I didn't ace the LSAT. You know, "Joanie can sit by Peter, but she can't sit by Marshall. Marshall can sit by Tina, Belinda or Chris. Chris can't sit by someone in an orange sweater. George is a martian. Louise can only sit in between two girls. Joyce doesn't give a crap where she sits as long as she's in a chair. What order are they sitting in on the church pew?" Given my non-penchant for these things, the arranging of all the photo shoots, which was eerily similar to those games, was zero fun.

So yesterday, I come in and immediately start making calls and directing subjects and photographers places. I also have a [virtual, via email] stack of pieces to edit. I am also supposed to write the calendar and finish writing some short pieces. As I am doing all these things, an "old-time" musician is playing his banjo in the photo studio next door. I decided we should always have live music in the office.

It's getting close to lunch time, we're all slammed with stuff to do, so the boss says "order three pizzas," which I do. Shortly after pizzas are ordered, photographer arrives to set up his equipment. We decide to use the conference room because it's got some cool exposed brick that would be a nice background, and wood floors. So the photographer and I herd all 20 of the rolling chairs into a corner, shove the giant conference table against the wall, and take down all of the newspaper pages that are hung as decoration because they're in the shot.

It is then that I realize that I failed to ask the person in charge of booking the conference room if anyone will be using it for conferences that afternoon. Yikes. My phone rings telling me to come collect my model in the lobby downstairs. I had originally asked her to be on the cover, but for business-y reasons, the boss had to put someone else there, so I was going to have to break this news to her (she was very nice about it.)

I trot down the hall and stop to ask about the conference room, which fortunately, was not booked by anyone else. I escort my model, who is a yoga instructor, to the photographer, then receive a call saying the pizza has arrived, so I go back downstairs and fetch it. My boss and I drag a table into the hall and set the pizzas out on it,prompting the IT director to say "Ken's having a pizza party!"

I begin some more editing, when the photographer finishes with the yoga girl, whom I have to interview. So she and I sit down at my desk and she starts telling me all this stuff about yoga, and as she's educating me on the spiritual benefits of meditation, someone starts playing a saxophone in the photo studio next door. So she and I are semi-listening, semi-interviewing, when the other person who is now on the cover shows up and asks where her photo shoot is. She is a "fitness coach" and very...fit. And well-acquainted with the tanning bed. And the nail salon. And feathered hair. And low necklines. And pink lipgloss. Her arrival was very awkward, as the yoga girl is sitting right there, taking it all in. I show them where to go, apologize profusely to cute yoga girl and get back to the interview.

The boss then comes out to see what's going on, given the amount of noise and craziness due to saxophones, models, ad people, photographers, etc. in the hall. I introduce him to yoga girl, and he tells her a long story about how one of his best friends is in the royal family of Hawaii, and if the royals hadn't abdicated, he'd be King, so they call him King. The King used to hang glide with boss, but now does yoga instead, which the boss is baffled by. Yoga girl was amused by his tale and offered him a free yoga class, which I told him he should accept and write about. Meanwhile the creative director and the editor are walking around looking for each other and eating pizza, and talking to the graphics guys. Then the cartoonist comes up to pick up his check while I'm trying to finish the interview with yoga girl, who says "Wow! This is what I always imagined a newsroom to be like!"

I said "I promise this has never happened before." And now I have to go finish the calendar.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Chris Thile, you know you want to talk to me



This is just a brief post in effort to get my courage up to call his fancy publicist in New York ("New York City!!" to quote the old salsa commercials.) You see, Chris and his [relatively] new band the Punch Brothers are coming to Chattanooga on March 30. Given the fact that Chattanooga is (as previously mentioned in conversation with Ali) practically synonymous with the mandolin (as practically as a city can be synonymous with a stringed instrument), I think that an article about Chris and the band would be perfect as a "culture" piece for the magazine for March (right? plus, I really want to meet him.) They will be in Birmingham on January 31, so my plan is that I could go down there and do the interview, Jason could take some pictures and bond with Chris and the band re: musical instruments, then we are best friends with them and hang out all the time. Perfecto. But first I have to call the scary publicist and see if she'll grant me an audience with the wizard.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

To Russia, with love

Russia. That cold eastern giant, looming like a grey cloud above Europe, covered in ice and drifting snow and men wearing really furry hats. What I'd like to know is, what's their problem? In my opinion, it is lame of them to pick on little Ukraine.

From what I can tell through my vast research, Russia is ginormous. As a matter of fact, Russia is 16,995,800 square kilometers in size, with a population of almost 150 million people. In comparison, the Ukraine is about 600,000 square kilometers, with a population of barely 46 million people. (Please ignore the metric measurements, I don't know how to convert. Focus on the numbers, Russia is way bigger.)

Over the past ten years, Russia has charged Ukraine and some other small eastern European countries a subsidized amount for the gas that fuels and heats their societies, of which Russia has vast reservoirs. In the last couple of years, Russia has begun demanding that the small countries pay a market price instead of a subsidized price for the fuel. Now, I am all about market economics, but Ukraine paid $179.50 per thousand cubic meters of fuel last year, and now Russia demands $450 per tcm for 2009. If my calculations are correct (I admit, you may want to check them yourself),that's an increase of more than 150 % in one year. Call me crazy, but that's just crazy.

Ukraine is currently in the worst recession they've seen in a decade, which probably isn't saying a lot considering they're a former Soviet-bloc country. However, the LGR (looming global recession) has severely reduced demand for their two major exports, steel and chemicals. Clearly, this hasn't helped their economic situation. Huge sectors of the population are unemployed, and the Ukranian currency lost half its value in December (read: that is bad.) They took out a $4.5 billion loan from the International Monetary Fund in November to combat that particular problem. The trick with IMF loans is that they come with a lot of conditions, not the least of which are a requirement for a deficit free budget(read: no debts.)

All this to say that it appears that they simply can't afford to pay $270 more per tcm for fuel. To do this, they would either have to create a budget deficit (which they aren't supposed to do) or cut a lot of social programs, which the unemployed and struggling population would really not appreciate. So they said "we just can't afford it." Russia's reaction to this situation? Turn off the gas. In eastern Europe, in the winter. Real classy guys.

But now it appears that they are stepping the bullying up to a new level. Gas has stopped flowing all across Europe, even in France, Germany, and Italy. The larger countries have reserves of fuel, but smaller countries like poor little Bulgaria are declaring a state of emergency, shutting down factories, with whole neighborhoods going unheated. It's freakin' cold in Bulgaria! Not cool, Russia! AND to top it off, they're blaming Ukraine! They're telling the world that the Ukrainians are siphoning off gas for their own use and keeping it from Europe. The Ukranians are trying to pass on some of their reserves to the rest of Europe to help, but let's remember their tiny size and dwindling economy.

I guess it's possible that the Ukranians are lying, that they just don't want to pay for gas, and that they really are stealing fuel from the rest of Europe for their own benefit. But really, who's believing Russia? They've been bullying people around (remember good old Joe Stalin?) for hundreds of years. I don't trust 'em any further than I could throw them, and considering I haven't started pilates yet, that's not far.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Happy new year!

Well, it's 2009. Although I will probably break these resolutions before I learn to remember to write "2009" instead of "2008" when I'm writing the date down, here are my resolutions for the year:

1. Try to at least get some exercise.

How? I have purchased a set of pilates classes. Having run into a girl I went to high school with over the break, and marveled at the fact that she looks like an entirely different person due to her current training to be a pilates instructor, I decided that perhaps this would be something helpful to try. Supposedly it's what all the models do, and supposedly it makes you "longer and leaner," two adjectives I am certainly interested in, particularly the "longer" part. Next time you see me I might be like six feet tall. Also it's supposed to be kind of fun, and I am hoping that the fact that I paid for the classes and that someone besides me will notice if I don't show up will provide motivation.

2. Try to pay attention to a somewhat balanced diet.

How? I have already begun attempting to attend to the recommended dietary business by having a V8. I know, I know, Claire has already lambasted the gross-ness of my new vegetable source. Call me crazy, but I happen to like the stuff. Plus, it's like more than half of my daily vegetable requirement, which I think is impressive.

3. Try not to neglect my poor, pitiful savings account.

How? My stepdad helped me figure out a reasonable amount to deduct from my paycheck automatically each week, and hopefully I can stick to it! So far, so good. Given the fact that all the money I am forced to put into Social Security is going to be looong gone by the time I might need it, I think it's important to build some savings. One time this financial lady came to GPS and showed us how if we saved like $2,000 a year starting when we were like 21, we could have a million dollars by the time we were sixty, or something. I don't remember exactly, but I do remember the point was that the earlier you start, the better, even if you don't put a lot in at first.

4. Be better at calling people back

How? Although I still hate voicemails, I will attempt to respond to missed calls in a timely manner. Argh.

5. Write more often

How? Will attempt to post at a weekly minimum. This might be the trickiest one to stick to.

And that's it, the five resolutions of '09. I'll report back on progress, which perhaps will make it easier to meet resolution number five. Happy 2009!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Sufjan Stevens and I wish you a merry Christmas



Uno, dos, tres, quatro

Tie up your boots
Jump off the ladder
Pack up your clothes
Nothing's the matter
Mistletoe hangs
Up in the bedroom
Your sister's bangs
She cut them herself

Santa is here
Sleighbells are ringing
Twenty-one elves
They are all singing
K-Mart is closed
So is the bakery
Everyone's at home
Watching TV

Santa Claus is coming
Hear the banjo strumming
Santa Claus is coming
Hear the banjo strumming

Chestnuts and fire
Holly and hay
Jesus and Mary
What a great day

Evergreen tree
Covered in snow
Tower of Babel
Tower of glow
There's Aunt Marie
And Uncle Bob
They give us good gifts
Like mittens and socks
Hijack a snow plow
Clear out the streets
Tell all of the neighbors
There's cookies to eat

Off the floor and give a shout
There's a lot to shout about
Santa Claus is coming to town
He's got the greatest gifts around

Away in a manger
No crib for a bed
The little Lord Jesus
Laid down his sweet head
The stars in the bright sky
Looked down where he lay
The little Lord Jesus
Asleep on the hay...

-excerpted from Sufjan's song, "Come on, Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance"

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Apologies, and Italy.

Apologies to whomever reads this blog on occasion, for the terrible gaps in communication the blog experiences. Anyone who has ever left me a voicemail is familiar with the feeling. Again as we near the monthly deadline for the magazine, my creativity tends to be otherwise directed.

I'd say in every life, there are certain lengths of time or situations that seem like the technicolor parts of The Wizard of Oz, in that they stand out for being beyond the ordinary and kind of wistfully lovely. I was just looking at my water bottle (in effort to avoid looking at the photos in need of captions beside said bottle of Aqua Panna - which I of course buy because the packaging is so pretty.) This particular brand of water is apparently bottled at the source in Italy, which made me think of the trip I took there with some other GPS folk over spring break my senior year of high school. There are other things that remind me of that trip too, like gelatto, and John Mayer's album "Room for Squares" (there were a lot of long busrides. Ben Folds "Whatever and ever, amen" also reminds me of the trip - sorry Margaret, I still have your cd...) It was like a nine-day whirlwind tour of one of the most chock-full-of-stuff-to-see countries in the world, so I feel like everything was pretty jumbled, and it wasn't until afterward that I realized how cool it was.

Our travels began in Rome, and from there went to Florence, Venice, and Milan, with smaller and lesser known towns in between each. The first day, in addition to wanting to just lay down in some ancient, cobbled street and sleep due to jet lag, I remember being so thrown off by the fact that people in this great city go to work everyday, and they could look out their car windows or their offices and be like "oh, that's where Caesar was stabbed. Yeah, and that's the jail Paul was kept in." So much history, right there, smack in the center of a big, modern city, totally incredible. Particularly, I suppose, to an American, since most of the historical things in our cities don't date much further back than Paul Revere.

The last night we were in Rome, we went to a discotheque, which I'm sure Mrs. Pierce, the principal of the upper school and our chaperone, really enjoyed. It was somewhat intimidating to be in a crowded room, with Dido thumping through the strobe lights, surrounded by big guys with lots of necklaces speaking another language. (Especially if you hate Dido.) A guy in a black tanktop and a gold chain asked me to dance (or inferred the invitation by standing extremely close to me) and I mumbled something about my boyfriend and darted away.

Eventually I spotted the most J.Crew-looking guy in the room, wearing a button-up shirt and a pullover sweater, and I made my way towards him. Eager to practice his English, he asked me to dance (using words, a good sign.) As we danced (probably awkwardly, I have never claimed to be a good dancer, although it was a slow song) he asked me all the questions we learn in Spainish class, but he had of course learned them in English. "What sport do you like to play?" (I told him I ran, which he seemed pleased about. One question successfully asked and answered.) "Do you like basketball?" (I told him it was ok. He was more of a fan than I.) "Do you like Allen Iverson? My favorite player." (Interesting choice. I believe I mentioned Michael Jordan - again, not a big basketball fan.) "You like music?" (I did, as did he - kind of...) "You like Bob Marley?" (Seriously? Um, I guess. I like John Mayer. This was a point of confusion as we had exited his realm of English related topics.) This went on for a couple of songs, then it was time to extricate the bolder girls from a throng of Italian men and head back to the hotel.

Florence and Venice, unfortunately, are kind of a blur, although I took detailed and copious notes in my travel journal (as per my Grandmother's instructions) so it's all retrieveable. Those pigeons in the piazza are gross, and one of the reasons I hate birds. Our tour guide wore Dolce & Gabana 'Blue', and anytime I get a whiff of it now I think of her, tirelessly leading our group of chattering American high school girls through the streets of these beautiful old cities in the wake of her perfume, singing the Dixie Chicks' "Travelling Soldier" over and over and over again. What a patient lady.

The Doge's Palace was so beautiful, and I always think of it in reading the bit in The Pursuit of Love about how Fabrice's grandmother once rode past a small villa in a gondola, and stopped to look inside because it was so lovely. Once inside, she looked around at the pale blue platster walls and said "If there is a box with a key on a velvet ribbon in that drawer, then I own this house." There was. Some forgotten love of hers had given her the house long before. (Sidenote, I love Nancy Mitford. I am reading a book of the letters of the Mitford sisters right now, and it's so completely fascinating.)

By the time we got to Milan, our last stop, we were all exhausted from the rushed seeing and doing. Our first night there, an homesick and melancholy Margaret was drooping around the room. Mary Howard and I were unsure of how to cheer her up, and turned on the television, thinking perhaps Italian "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" would be on, or something equally amusing. Instead, the screen opened to a channel which was playing Lord of the Rings - in English. Margaret, at the time, was a huge fan, and we were all shocked (we hadn't seen television in English the whole time we'd been there) and immensely pleased, as Margaret was cheered immediately by Liv Tyler's glowing skin and pointy ears.

The next day, we went to visit a huge cathedral (these are copious in Italy, to say the least.) The inside I don't really remember, but I'm sure it was grand, etc. Our guide told us that if we wanted, we could go up the circular staircase in a turret to the roof. Well, sure. Upon exiting that staircase, Margaret was further cheered, because it was apparent that we were in Rivendell (I realize I just outed myself as a huge nerd...oh well. Probably not much of a shock.) Intricately carved stone covered every inch of the roof. There we stood, high above the city of Milan, surrounded by the work of stone masons hundreds of years ago. These were people who began carving their fleur-de-lis and curving arches with the full knowledge that they would never live to see the final product. And they dedicated their lives to this carving - on the roof. Not at the altar, or around the door, where everyone would see it, but on the roof, for God to look at and enjoy.

In addition to the beautiful carvings, photos of which hang in my living room to this day, Mary Howard and I noticed a man, who was one of the several people scattered across the top of the building. He was different than everyone else there as he was clearly not part of a tourist group. He was a handsome guy, Italian in features, probably about thirty. He was wearing a navy suit, a blue shirt, and a red and blue tie, and had a little shopping bag in his hand, and he was smiling contentedly to himself. Here was a guy, we presumed, maybe on his lunch break, who left the office, and came to the top of a cathedral to walk around by himself and enjoy the grandeur of the carvings and the view. It seemed like something in a book. Of course, we loved him and took several pictures. Little did he know that several American girls were not-so-subtly stalking him that day and still have his charming image in a photo album.

Anyhow, now that I've rambled for a while, those are a few of my techinicolor images from the past. Just thought I'd regale you with some tales, given my absence as of late, and considering how long this probably is, I'm sure I've made up for it.